commitments

I glanced through the past few entries I've written and every single one of them speaks of a lack of time.  This has been evident throughout my entire life as I filled my calendar with sports, clubs, activities, academics, work, and social events.  I need to re-evaluate my use of time again soon.  I always pack in as much as I can and I am able to survive and make it work, but I want to enjoy the life God has given me rather than feeling like I'm barely clinging on, trying to make all the events that I've committed to.

I look and try to determine if each commitment itself is important, and they are. All of them are good in themselves. I can glorify God through them. However, I don't think that I can continue to barely make it and feel like I am utilizing all of God's gifts appropriately. I suppose I can make it to the next quarter. Once Starting Point is over I will have another free night each week-then I can finish all of my homework on Wednesday instead of working on it on Thursday. School is a lot more work than I anticipated, but I know that it will be worth it when I receive that Master of Science diploma in the mail.

I keep telling myself that God wants me here. I know that He does. It's so hard to stay when your heart is telling you to run as far and as fast as you can go. I guess this is what fear is like. I don't experience that often. Kelly says, "if you leave now, you could miss out on the best thing in your life." I know she's right, but I still want to learn Spanish fluently while working and living in South America, backpack across Europe and live out in Switzerland and Germany. There are so many things on my lengthy list of life goals.

Some days I just want to sit and do nothing. Yeah, I know, that's not glorifying God. Please help me out here. I really just need to hear Your voice in my life. Please tell me what I need to do and help my human heart to be comforted and content.

-run for life