just one of them days...

I'm exhausted. Literally. Not only is my body tired, but my mind is tired. I have never actually felt like my mind was functioning more slowly even if I got less sleep. I've done the school and work thing for years, but I guess with the added time zone changes every other week it's putting a toll on my cognitive functioning.

When I flew back to Dulles on Tuesday morning, I was already wiped. At least this time I didn't have to sleep at the airport (I'm tired of cancellations and delays due to the storms and snow out here on the east coast!). I hadn't been to Dulles since senior year of high school when we went with Mr. Zuber (also known as Barney, my next door neighbor growing up... weird he was a teacher at SL while I was still a student there!) for the Close Up trip to Washington, D.C. So I walk out and wander around where the buses come to pick people up. I already thought I lost my stub to pay for parking (turns out it was sitting on the passenger seat in my car, I just found it today-wow, sad huh?) and now I had no idea where I needed to be to catch the shuttle for the Green Lot where Lazarus waited for me in the snow.

I asked a man in a suit if he knew where I needed to go for the shuttle, of course he did not and neither did the airline staff (not airport staff) standing nearby. I walked back and forth for awhile debating on what to do when I spotted a shuttle with a flashing sign that said 'GREEN LOT.' I ran over and got on (it was a lot easier this time since I didn't have my drum, box and rolling suitcase).

When we got to the parking lot the driver asked me where I parked. What I thought was the middle of the lot apparently was not. I was confused. I knew I was in the right row but it was freezing cold and I wasn't sure which way to turn. A man in a service truck with a plow on the front asked me if I wanted him to help me find my car and told me to hop in the truck. This seemed like a warm plan, so I did. We started at the end of row 13C and kept rolling until I spotted Laz. Interestingly there was another 1992, blue, Integra 5 or 6 cars down from Laz. His brother!

I thanked the man, hopped in and started Laz's engine. I couldn't wait for the heat to get going. I rolled out toward the exit and had to stop at the cashier because I wasn't sure where I put the parking stub to pay (at the time I didn't, now I know it's in the trash because I already paid it and had to fill out a lost stub form at the exit and they even copied my license number and everything, apparently they don't want people to lose their parking stubs more than once).

Once I was done at the booth, I rolled up the service road to the highway. I took 495 (it was a special airport exit road in between the lanes on 495) out toward 95S but I second guessed myself and missed the exit from the special airport lanes (they were separated by concrete) to 495 with regular traffic. So of course I'm wondering where I can get off next and I decided I'd hop off at the next available exit... well that exit was for authorized vehicles and buses only but I didn't realize that until I was already halfway down the ramp and I couldn't get back over so I had no choice but to turn off. A huge bus was coming straight at me and the driver motioned for me to make a U turn and go back... as I was making a 3-point turn another bus was coming down the ramp behind me. So here I am, ultra California, having no idea why I'm trying to make a U on a authorized vehicles only 2 lane road outside of DC with huge buses on either side of me. No matter where I looked, all I could really see was buses.

I saw a construction worker who told me to follow the signs for 95S because I was pointed again in the right direction. I did and reached 95 safely and continued on down to Petersburg. In all I was utterly tired and disoriented and got home from work at 9PM. I'm still tired and feel like my brain isn't functioning well (maybe instead of 'one' of them days, it's actually one of those months for me!) but I'm still trucking along. Manuel helped me to finish taxes via TurboTax 2009 edition tonight and I answered the initial discussion board questions last night so I just need to respond to other's posts, take a quiz and write a paper for this week. Hopefully I'll finish tomorrow... while getting my oil changed at 7AM (why do I do this to myself?... it's already past 1AM!).

Well, I fly out again on Tuesday, so this weekend I'm working and trying to get all my homework for next week done before the week starts because I will be even more busy Monday (my only day to do homework since I work and fly out on Tuesday). Praying there will be no more snow storms and cancellations to my flights. I'm tired of driving unnecessarily to other airports and sleeping unexpectedly at the door on airports where it's literally freezing cold. God help me to get rest, I want to give you my weariness and burdens.

- run for life

good friends are hard to find

Over the years I've learned that some people don't value friendship as much as others. Perhaps it's not that they don't value it, but they don't put as much effort into it. I fully believe that if you want to hang out with someone you will make time for them, regardless of what else you have going on in your life. I say that from experience of working a full time job, taking full time graduate school classes, running marathons on a regular basis, and working part time at the gym to maintain my free gym membership. On top of that, my good friends or best friends are all located over three thousand miles away so hanging out with them takes a lot more time and planning than it normally would if they were in the same vicinity.

However, I think it's worth it to put in the effort to see them and hang out with them and live life together. I call my friends when I have time and cell phone minutes and try to keep in touch. I'm learning who are my true friends and who was just my friend out of convenience or close proximity. Those are the friends I am trying to invest in and put more effort into the relationship. The other people, I still would hang out with if I had time, but they aren't the first people I'll call when I'm going home.

For awhile I wished that more people would put the same value on friendship as I do and my best friends/good friends do. Now I'm thinking that it's okay that some people don't want to be good friends with me, that's fine. It just gives me more time for those who reciprocate my attempts at friendship and do return my phone calls and go out of their way to meet up or pick me up when I'm home. Those are the people I would consider my closer/good/best friends. Those are the people I will try to keep in touch with no matter where I am or what I'm doing. When I come home (because home will always be California), those are the people I look forward to seeing and catching up with if I haven't seen them for awhile.

I'm so glad that God has blessed me with the good friends I have. I won't take it for granted or expect so much of other people who are more of acquaintances. I appreciate who I have back home more after living in a place where I've felt so lonely. I can't wait till I start driving home and will live among them and see them more regularly again.

- run for life