a new chapter

A new chapter of life is unfolding. I anticipate much happiness, pain, joy, tears, struggle, and wonder. Life keeps on rolling and it's all I can do to keep up. I FINALLY sucked it up and bought a djembe (a nice one). I've been looking for a good one on sale/inexpensive for about 5 or 6 years now. It's my treat to myself for getting a job-complete with carrying case.

I start work on Monday. I'm a little scared. Yuri and Sandra are going to Vegas in a few weeks. I wish Lei and I could go to. Vegas is so boring though... and hot. Ugh. There are so many reunions I want to have, people I want to see. God be with my friends and family as I am so far away.

I wish I was better at keeping in touch, but I guess I'm not terrible. I sent out my newsletter update of the summer and let everyone know I will be staying out in Virginia for a while... I'm scared to say the least. I'm excited that I have time to hang out with Karen and Natalie before I start. I am thankful for the accountability group (right now it's just Abby & I-so partners) we have started out here in Virginia. I need to look for those questions Em and I used to do during high school with our journals.

Lord please help me to be content with the life that you have given me. Please God, I would like to be able to breathe better. I feel so headachy and stuffed up all the time. I don't like the constant dripping and sore throats all the time. God please help my heart.

-run for life

another one bites the dust

Life goal #524: see the sunrise over the ocean-check. I went with the Salims, Kelsey, and Joanna to Nag's Head in North Carolina. It was fun, mainly running and splashing in the ocean. I got up each morning I was there to see the sunrise. My body wakes up at 5AM without an alarm so it worked out pretty well since sunrise began around 5:30AM. I loved running on the beach even though it was hard and I thought I might pass out a few times from dehydration.

I attempted to play my guitar on the beach, mostly just trying to rebuild my calluses. Natalie made a big deal about it, I just wanted to practice. I guess it was neat. I love the strumming and the crashing waves together in harmony... or as much as I could. I need to become more disciplined in the area of music... and get my djembe.

As usual I did handstand pictures and jumping pictures around the beach and on the dunes. I probably should have taken more pictures but Kelsey and Natalie had their cameras too.

There were also sand dunes which I LOVED. I ran across the tops off them straight on down without a pause. It was awesome. I was thinking it'd be a grand place to zorb... really scary but amazing all at the same time. I could have spent hours and hours just running up and down the dunes.

I love the big blue. Waves crashing, sand squishing between my toes, sun beating down, shells to be discovered, fish to be caught and eaten, friends to be made, frisbees to be thrown, soccer balls to kick, and life to be lived. I miss being able to go whenever. I hope that I can go again soon.

-run for life

blown away

I don't remember exactly when the dream I had in January popped into my head again but wow.  It was so real.  I had woken up with a start and thought it had happened... I was trying to figure out when and realized it was just a dream.  Prayed about it then... still praying about it now.  I wonder if it is coming true...

I was at the Jones' garage sale today and it was amazing.  I didn't think there were that many people coming through... but God answers prayers.  He does it so miraculously.  I don't understand it, I don't think I will ever comprehend it.  Trying to make sense of life and how it all works... I just don't get it.  Why does God love us so much?  Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful He does... but why?  I constantly mess up and make mistakes.  I can't get anything right.  Yet the Creator of the world loves me and thought of every detail and step in my life right down to how many hairs are on my head.

This amazing love, this awesome God who answers our prayers-I am so grateful, so thankful.  I really cannot understand how people can live without believing that God created them, loves them, and that they need a Savior.  I know it's because I have Christ in me and it was the work of the Holy Spirit...  Wow.  Why did you choose me?  Thank You God with all that I am and all that I have.  Thank You for listening and answering prayers.  Thank You for always being there with me.  Thank You for providing for me.  Thank You for granting me the patience and the strength to survive in this world and be content.  Everything I am is because of You and who You are... I am blown away.

-run for life

awkward

I passed my Registered Dietitian exam on Friday. I haven't been online in a week, it's nice not to be attached to technology. I love it. I haven't really been carrying my phone around much either... unless I know someone is going to call. I had my interview with Aramark in Petersburg, VA today. It was... interesting. Definitely the most awkward interview I've ever had. It's all up to God and I am going to have fun and enjoy myself in VA with friends until I find out what is going on.

I have felt so blessed this past week staying at the Johnson's and the Dixon's. It has been fun and I could definitely get used to having so many uplifting people around. I do feel a little jealous sometimes, though I try not to. I sometimes wish I could hang out with my family and have fun. I wish that we could even sit in the same room together without someone yelling at us. I know that God wouldn't give me anything more than I could handle and I know that He will prepare me for when I have my own family. God thank you for calming my thoughts about this matter and placing people in my life that I can talk with who speak from You.

I anticipate more glorious happenings in my future as I continue to strive to follow and glorify God with my entire being. God is so faithful and good. I know that He will guide me and make my path clear.  Thanks for always being there and lifting me up.

-run for life

sometimes

Sometimes... I feel very alone and lonely. I wish there was someone I could call whenever just to talk or hang out. I wish I was at the beach. The bugs get loud when banging into the windows. The heat and humidity annoy me (that's more of an all the time). I wish I didn't have to study so much. I just want to run. --This just shows me how much I need God. How worldly I am and that I need to rely more on Him rather than my feelings, thoughts, and emotions. God I pray that You will draw me nearer as I continue to seek You.

I ran 12.5 today at a 9:07 pace (slow, but oh well, I need to lose some weight before I start real training-I'm aiming for 125 by the end of the summer). I decided I'm going to run a sub-3:30 marathon (sub-8/mile) so I need to get back into shape and doing actual training instead of being a slacker and relying on my guts to make it through like I have been. Big Sur-I hadn't run for a month prior and I was dehydrated and sick before I started. Richmond was pure pain and all will power-my neck was tweaking the entire summer and I hadn't run since Big Sur 6 months before. Seneca 50k-I really felt like I needed to run more long runs before doing over 30 miles-the longest I ran before that race during training was 6-8 miles. The Ridge Runner was fine until I hit mile 19-from there it was guts and will power; indicating my assumptions were correct and I need to add distance to build up my endurance. I need to get a set schedule-aka a job soon so I can plan my runs and training schedule.

During my run today I stopped at church for water. I didn't expect so many people to be there at 6:45 when the event started at 7:30, but oh well. I was dripping with sweat, I couldn't even pretend I was just glistening. Most of the ladies smiled at me regardless, but they looked like pity smiles rather than 'good to see you/glad you're here" smiles.

I don't really fit in here very well do I?

-run for life