wow

Dear God,

So what are you trying to tell me? Am I supposed to feel this way? I feel so conflicted inside. Please help me to focus on You and avoid distractions. I am so tired. Please help me to get real rest and be refreshed from my trip to visit Lei.

I am so excited to go back to Hawai'i, it's almost as far as going to China though. Thanks for making me small and have great ability to sleep on planes, buses and trains!

You're the best. <3

-run for life

stuck

I can't get out of bed today, or get you off my mind... I pray that God will make it go away if it's not from Him. I wonder and I try to focus on my life and glorifying God. Am I doing the right thing? Should I give myself a break and not get annoyed with myself?

It's already almost October. So close to Lei's wedding. Terrence called today, I can't believe I haven't seen him in 4 years. I am excited to meet his sister and hang out with old friends. I wish Yuri was going though. We definitely need to have a Mochi reunion one of these years...

God I need Your help. I need Your discernment and direction. Please help me to stay on top of my school work and keep up with my friendships. Lord please help me to speak truth into the lives of my friends and co-workers. Please give me the words to say and help me to be joyful when I face adversity. I get discouraged when I don't get a positive response, but I have faith. Your Holy Spirit is doing a work that I cannot see. It's all for You.

-run for life

there and back again

Life keeps on flitting by. I feel like I've done a lot, but there is much to be done. I attempt to stay on an even keel and hope for the best-preparing for the worst. I know God is watching out for me. I can tell that He wants me to be here. It's funny how comforting that is. The small fact-yet immensely huge and I don't know how anyone would be able to be somewhere if they didn't know God wanted them there. I continue to be amazed at how fast my paychecks go each month. I know it will lighten up with less plane tickets and no school payments, but wow. I can't wait until I'm no longer a student! People can save so much money!

I went home the first weekend of September. This past weekend was my only chance to make it up to Philadelphia and back before the season was finished. So I went. I drove straight toward Philly after I finished at work and stopped off at a refill station in the middle of I95 somewhere in Delaware to go to the bathroom and sleep in Lazarus' trunk. I got up-went to the bathroom again and continued on my way in the morning toward Pennsylvania. I parked in the ballpark/stadium parking lot and took the subway up to downtown Philly. There I met Cap and Dave-two ex-foodservice directors who were now bus drivers. The stories they had to share. I asked them about cheesesteaks and they were on their way to eat some, so they invited me to join them. A mainly vegetarian being, I was excited to eat a Philly Cheesesteak-a REAL Philly Cheesesteak. It was delicious. I also had In-N-Out Burger twice when I was home for 2 days.

I went to the Phillies game and caught a ball from Suppan, one of the Brewers pitchers. I was excited. It was a good day, humid, and kind of disgusting, but an over all good day.

-run for life

movin' on

First time in SLO since graduation.  Oddly it was so much the same as far as looks.  It would be a beautiful place to live for sure.  It would be kind of sad with all of my friends gone though.  I had a wonderful time celebrating Juice and Blair's wedding with friends old and new.  I went to church the next day and saw some of my youth group kids... I can almost not call them kids anymore.  They're all grown up now.

Mixed emotions fill my mind and soul.  I am so thankful that God has kept some of my kids in the church and rooted them in faith.  It breaks my heart to see some of them fall away and get caught up in the world.  I knew it from the fruit before, but I prayed that it wouldn't happen.  God is ultimately in control.  I am so glad that I could play a small role in the development of so many children and teenagers who are now adolescents, adults, and even married adults.

Wow, I miss California.  I miss my friends and my sister.  I pray that she is okay and that it is just a plane delay.  I'm sure it is.  I hope that everything is all right.  God please help sister be all right and those who she is with.  I know you only give us what we can handle and I'm quite certain I could not handle a tragedy of catastrophic proportions.

-run for life

time goes by

Days keep flying by. Sometimes I just want to sit and do nothing. I often feel like I'm caught up in this and that, going from one place to another. It's already September. I try to take in the beauty of God's creation around me and savor the moments He has provided me with. It's hard with so many things to do all the time though. I feel like there isn't enough time. The clock keeps ticking, time keeps moving on without me.

I am excited to go home this weekend. I can't wait to use my comforter and sleep comfortably instead of with small good will blankets. I need to get my mom a birthday present before I go back to California. I should finish my list of things I need to get while I'm home now before I forget what I need...

I feel like people are often caught up in relationships whether it be with a guy or girl, family or not. I suppose it is because we are relational beings. I find myself falling prey to the conversations about desires for marriage more out here in Virginia than I ever did at home. I don't feel like marriage will define my life. I think it could enhance it-obviously if that's in His plans it will, but I am content with being me, being single and getting to do whatever I feel like God wants me to do or is allowing me to do.

Today was the first day of school for many... wow. It's funny to look back and think about my perceptions of my teachers and others around me... and now my friends are teachers. Weird.

-run for life