absorb

Today was another in the ladies' series "Delighting in God." The topics were 'submission' and 'wise communication.' The main point I took away from the talks were that wives submitting to their husbands is active. Wives must actively submit to their husbands, it is not being passive or a doormat. You are still called to share your honest opinion in love and truth, even though the final call is by your husband. Submitting to your husband glorifies God.

For someone such as myself, I am amazed at the words appearing on the screen as I type. However, God is doing good work with in me and I know that His plan is perfect. The reason many women today are against submission is because they fear it. They fear submission because 1) they are prideful and think their plan is better than God's, 2) they see the sin in men and are afraid/do not understand that God gave men leadership qualities that we as women were created to compliment. Honestly, I had both of these numbers down pat. With the history of my own family, I was not about to submit to a man who was domineering and would lead me in what I thought was the wrong direction (the pride comes in here). Though I don't like to say that I think my plan is better than God's [that just sounds so sinful! - which I am!] - it is shown by my thoughts and actions. When I rebel against God or do things against His will (when I sin) I am pridefully telling/showing God that I think my way is better. Sadly, this is a daily occurrence for me. By God's grace I have been justified and saved through His Son and I am so thankful that He washes me of past, present, and future sin - separating my sin from me as far as the east is from the west (I know for a fact that this is far and that's only the east and west coast of the United States!)

This brings me to another metaphor that I have been using. When we sin - it is as though we were muddy. We need God to cleanse us with the blood of Christ, that is the only way to be free of all the dirt and mud. He will do so the moment we truly seek and ask for forgiveness. However, once God has forgiven us we must turn and run from our sin so as not to become entangled again. Those who do not turn and flee are wallowing in their sin. Those who wallow in the mud don't actually want to get out, they are comfortable in their mud puddle. No matter how many times God washes them of their sin... they cannot be made clean because they are sitting in the mud puddle and refuse to get out! This means that they cannot be forgiven because they are not truly repenting (even if you're standing in your mud puddle, you cannot be fully clean because your feet are still dirty within it). It sounds harsh even to myself, but I equate these people with those who confess with their mouths that they have done something wrong, but do not have fruit or show by their actions that they are sorry. What they say is true - actions speak louder than words. If you are sorry for doing something, but continue to do so and do not even attempt to change... are you truly sorry? This says your way is better than God's way. (Obviously there are people who are truly sorry and fall back into sin, but are honestly trying to change and turn from their sin, I am not referring to those people.)

Now to decipher the title of this entry for you. I am in Virginia and I want to go home, but I have this feeling God wants me to stay because He is not done with me here. Sitting in the second row during the conference this morning it hit me that God has brought me here to teach me and mold me. I feel like I am just absorbing everything around me and I want to hold more, I want to learn more. I have never been in an environment that is filled with people who are seeking Biblical truth all around me and proclaiming the gospel where ever I turn. How can I leave a place where God has placed me to learn more about Him for His glory? I cannot fight my all-knowing, all-powerful living God. [Side note: I had this feeling that God was preparing my heart for marriage and that is scary.] I submit to God's leadership in my life and I am discerning what God's plan is for my life so that I can live it out. God's timing is perfect and I want to allow Him to work in and through me so that He may be glorified.

And finally, a quick update on the internship & dietitian status - I finished my foodservice case study and will present it this Friday. Afterwards I will interview at CJW for a clinical dietitian position there (God is really working on my heart in this area as well.) I was thrilled to discover that I do not actually have to meet any where this coming week other than Friday's class! I have Monday through Thursday free other than finishing my papers. I have worked a lot these past months to keep up and get ahead if possible and I suppose I am reaping the benefits. I need to make one more chart for my research paper and type up the results, discussion, and conclusion. For my business entrepreneur rotation I am to write a business plan and those two assignments are really all I have to do this week...I'm hoping to finish both by tomorrow night. A family in my care group is going for a basketball tournament and by God's grace I happened to be free this week, so I will be in Powhatan a lot to let their dog out and house sit a bit. I am hoping to strengthen friendships and relationships with those who are on spring break since I have been blessed with this pseudo spring break this coming week. Lord I pray that You reveal Yourself and that You will bless the fellowship that I have with others this week and that You are glorified in all I do and say. Thank You.