blown away

Easter [my favorite holiday] this year was one to remember from hanging out with Richardson to Kirkman children. I experienced both egg hunts and short-term memory loss that afternoon; an odd [pathetic] combination when you are really good at hiding eggs! I probably could have hidden eggs, waited an hour and then have trouble finding them. Wiffle ball, trampolines, foosball, cards, and what could quite possibly be my favorite non-sport game - 'Search & Rescue' filled our afternoon late into the night. I was so tired I fell asleep on the front room floor at one point.

I thought it was ironic that Gene used the statement and response "He has risen," "He has risen indeed" yesterday at church when at the same time (it was toward the end of the sermon so it was near to 9 on the west coast), they were probably saying it in SLO during the first service. Glorious that God's grace abounds and that His family is my family and I feel so welcomed here. When I stop to ponder the beauty of His plan for my life and how intricately He thought out each detail... I am overwhelmed with gratefulness and amazement.

I feel so insignificant when I think of what God has done on my behalf. I am the worst of sinners and my heart is devising new ways of sinning even as I type. I am so thankful that Christ endured what I cannot even comprehend so that I might live with Him and have eternal life. Astounding. I can't imagine what it must be like; to not have a purpose in life. I can only pray that God will move in the hearts of those who do not know Him so that they might be as blown away as I am.

On Saturday, I went hiking up a mountain by the name of "Old Rag," my expectations for this endeavor were eclipsed by the name of the mountain itself (sad that a name can be confounding). I wasn't sure if it was called a rag because it was floppy, greasy, dirty, or just worn by the test of time and ragged. Despite this, I had high hopes and I was not disappointed. God's splendor was on full display even on the drive there. The river that wound through the valley was gorgeous. The ripples and waters rushing over stones were so pure and untainted. A hawk sailed through the air above the trees in the distance and rainbows stretched across the sky. Three forms of precipitation hit the rocks standing in our path. I loved scrambling along the trail at the top of the mountain. How marvelous is Your work.

Another great work of His - I experienced bona fide chivalry; I have never encountered anything like it. It was refreshing... I felt protected for the first time in my life. [I often feel "safe" because of what I consider my "street smarts," but I have never felt like I was being protected. It was an intriguing sensation.] I thanked my friends' mother the next morning and she said, "it's nice to be treated like a lady, isn't it?" Awe struck by the simplicity of the statement, I laughed and nodded in agreement.

What has society done? Why don't I know how to react when I am "treated like a lady?" After all, I am a lady! My first instinct is not "thank you" but one that is prideful and full of sin. Quickly my mind assumes that men think they are stronger than women and though this is true in most cases, I become offended. The world tells me I can do everything myself and that I do not need help, that women are just as capable as men - the age of the "independent woman." I have been convicted of pride many times, this is just another way that it manifests itself in my life. I feel like I need to be re-trained or broken in to this "new" concept [ancient, but new to me]. It is sad that the world has infiltrated my thoughts escaping detection for so long. Women and men are equal, but created for different purposes. I love how Matthew Henry explains it: “Eve was not taken out of Adam’s head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”

This morning I drove about 80 miles mostly through snow that melted immediately when it hit the glass of Lazarus' front window [then another 50 miles back home afterwards]. On the way there I was so tired and falling asleep multiple times, but it was way too early to call someone on the west coast and still too early to call anyone on the east coast. So, I prayed a lot as I nodded off, only to be awoken with a jerk once I remembered I was driving. (Unsafe, I know! Pray for me, thanks!) I pray that God would enable me to glorify Him and help me to over come my pride in various instances (including the specific one mentioned above). I have five more weeks with which I can serve and glorify God by doing my best in this internship. I'm going to need to dig deep and persevere to the finish. God, I'm going to need Your help!