disappointment

I suppose I put a lot of stock in what people say. I have always been the most gullible person I've ever met so I guess it makes sense. I am feeling mixed emotions. I want to do nothing and mope around, but at the same time I feel like that would be stupid and lame. I've never really done that before over anyone, I always just keep rollin' on with my life and truck along. I wonder if I'll get up in time for discipleship group. I have to confess I've read nothing. I have been really bad about keeping up with something I should be, especially because I need to work on my heart in so many ways. I should really go.

I need to catch up on homework tomorrow-my first grad school test is next week. Life is coming at me 100 miles an hour and I feel like I'm barely hanging on. It's already 10/10! Nikki's birthday! Gosh, I wonder how she's doing. Ahh, those good old days of gymnastics. They were so much more carefree, I worried more about sticking my dismount than I did about boys, money, and life.

I don't know why I'm so sad. I shouldn't expect much. I keep realizing that people flake out all the time and every time I'm shocked as if it's a new phenomenon. I wish I could go visit my family, well my sister, whenever. I wish I had plans with old friends from college or could go visit and go to a game on short notice. I have to plan everything far in advance when I go home and then I still can't visit everyone.

I did have a good time in Hawai'i though I wish I could have stayed longer and seen Anna and a few others... especially since I flew all that way. It was good to see Lei again and support her at her wedding. Oh I miss the mochi days. Those were good times.

I need You. Help my thoughts and heart Lord. Help me to concentrate on You and glorify You.

-run for life