Friday, May 16, 2008

turmoil

Inner turmoil, heart pounding, conflicting thoughts running through my mind. 100 degree weather outside and warmer temperatures expected tomorrow muddle my mind. Perhaps I think too highly of myself and my influence on others. Friends falling, tumbling down the wrong path, stumbling, unable to stand on their own. Jail, drugs, alcohol, and sex are king. Why do I think I can help them? Why do I care so much? The answers to these questions I know. What I don't know is how this plays into my future and God's will.

What are all these overwhelming emotions? Home with the glorious waters and cool breeze. Hanging out with my friends, attempting to represent You. I do it faultily, broken and alone. Who knows if anything will come of it? I fit in... but do I? I try to live differently. Can they see it? Do they care? What is Your plan? Was I too hasty? Questions and feelings in direct opposition to one another choke my heart and mind. I need clarity, I need Your vision, I need guidance and direction. I need a Savior. I need You.

- run for life friends.

1 comment:

megan said...

Hey Jilly-O,
I just wanted to send some love and encouragement your way. We are defnitely made to be in this world and not of this world... never easy, always blessed.
I'm thinking of you and praying for you. You are so wonderful and admired.
if everything else fails.. don't forget the happy dance.
-megwo