backwards thinking

...I don't know what's wrong with my brain these days. When I left California I had all intentions of driving back across the United States and move back home come May. I feel like God has specifically placed me here. I still don't know why, but right at this moment I have a strange feeling I should stay. I have to say that this church that I've stumbled upon by God's divine plan is one that has challenged me the most in all of the ones I've attended... all 2! Ha ha. I read Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris over the past two weeks. I didn't really know what the book was about - I never read the back for some reason, I figured I would read it since they gave it to me my first time at Resolved last year since I had time now. I was encouraged to find that I had never been a "church dater" in my life. Once I find a church - I plant myself whether they like me or not! I attended First Pres SL until I graduated from high school and FPC SLO until I graduated from college. I was very involved in both through youth ministry and groups of my age level.

It's weird to feel out of place at home with your non-dating ways and Jesus centered ideals and wind up in a place where you fit in like a missing piece of a jig-saw puzzle. I have to say that the weather in Virginia is still terrible and I'm really cold over 75% of the time. I miss the sunshine and the ocean. I miss my family regardless of our dysfunction and my friends even though they don't believe the same things as me and often get annoyed because they think I'm too "preachy" or that something is wrong with me because I don't drink when we go out and I don't date even though perfectly nice guys ask me out.

What are these mixed up feelings? I never thought I would start to feel this way in a million years. I feel conflicted inside. Perhaps I am just feeling the "content feeling" with where I currently reside - here in Midlo - which is good because God wants me to be here, otherwise I wouldn't have come... but does He want me to stay?