Thursday, November 29, 2007


I don't often find myself baffled, but tonight I was. I always thought I dressed modestly, but that was on a different set of standards I suppose. I wear comfortable clothes for the most part: yoga pants, track pants, work out pants, guys' shorts, jeans, t-shirts, guys' a-shirts, sweatshirts, tank tops. However, I do wear tank tops that have spaghetti straps, halter tops, strapless dresses (if I have to wear a dress), but I don't show cleavage (partly because I have none, partly because I wouldn't even if I did) or my behind like a lot of people at home do. Here it's a different case. It's the "Bible-Belt-South" and it's quite conservative. Now, when I say conservative, I mean it. The church I go to is cool because they are all into Jesus, but I feel like such a terrible person when I walk in because I am friends with lots of "sinners" being a sinner myself and even though I try I fail so often. I know that's why I need Jesus and I am super thankful for Him. I just feel like I don't measure up to the ideals and standards that are set within the church. Mothers home school their children, or at least 50% of them do, that's a lot-it used to be higher before the church got bigger. These stay at home mothers are home makers, nothing is wrong with that and I wouldn't mind it but it's definately nothing like that in California. I feel like I have to wear a collared shirt and cover everything up all the time. It's weird. Having part of your back show can be considered im-modest. (Is that a word?) Maybe I'm just weirded out by something that doesn't matter. I mean, I usually don't care much about what people think, but I don't want to portray myself as a heathen slut or anything because I definately am not and would not like to be treated as such. I'm probably over reacting.

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